La Lecturess

Yesterday I went to see a terrible movie with Bert and George Washington Boyfriend. We knew it was going to be terrible and it was terrible, but we voluntarily paid $10 apiece anyway, all for the actor herein known as Starlet Star.

You may or may not have heard of her. On one of my first dates with George Washington Boyfriend, he mentioned, all faux-causually, "so, after four years here, I finally had my first brush with INRU fame: last semester, I taught Starlet Star."

And I said, "who?"

I Googled her when I went home, found her to be beautiful but to have acted in a few extremely unremarkable movies, and forgot about her.

Then, the next semester, I had her in one of my sections. And the following year I had her in another section. And she is possibly the most gorgeous human being I have ever laid eyes on--but also very smart, very conscientious, and sweet in a shy and almost goofily awkward way. I completely fell in love with her, and also became convinced that she had real acting chops: when we were reading drama, she could take a complicated part in difficult language totally cold, and just nail it.

About the time that I was teaching her for the second time, GWB and I decided that we had to see what she was all about, professionally, so we rented a recent movie in which she had a supporting part. She did a creditable job, but the movie was damn bad. After suffering through to the credits, one of us turned to the other, brow furrowed, and said, mock-earnestly, "You know what that movie needed? More Starlet Star." The phrase stuck: now, after a bad movie, a painful conference panel, or a mediocre meal, the solution, obviously, would have been--"More Starlet Star!"

So now she's in her biggest Hollywood role to date, in a movie that, bizarrely, is set somewhere GWB knows extremely well, and we just couldn't not go (Bert had other motives for going, which those who know him in real life will instantly recognize). The three of us howled through most of the movie, it was so bad--but the good news is that Starlet Star gets a lot of screen time and does the most that can be done with a poorly written part.

And I hope this portends good things for her. She's smart, she's talented, and she obviously took some career hits in favor of finishing her degree (in English, no less!). Someone with her substance and her skills deserves to do well, even in the superficial world of Hollywood.

Say it with me: more Starlet Star!

La Lecturess
(But our beginnings never know our ends!)
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I Googled her when I went home, found her to be beautiful but to have acted in a few extremely unremarkable movies, and forgot about her. Then, the next semester, I had her in one of my sections. And the following year I had her in another section. And she is possibly the most gorgeous human being I have ever laid eyes on--but also very smart, very conscientious, and sweet in a shy and almost goofily awkward way. I completely fell in love with her, and also became convinced that she had real acting chops: when we were reading drama, she could take a complicated part in difficult language totally cold, and just nail it. About the time that I was teaching her for the second time, GWB and I decided that we had to see what she was all about, professionally, so we rented a recent movie in which she had a supporting part. She did a creditable job, but the movie was damn bad. After suffering through to the credits, one of us turned to the other, brow furrowed, and said, mock-earnestly, "You know what that movie needed? More Starlet Star." The phrase stuck: now, after a bad movie, a painful conference panel, or a mediocre meal, the solution, obviously, would have been--"More Starlet Star!" So now she's in her biggest Hollywood role to date, in a movie that, bizarrely, is set somewhere GWB knows extremely well, and we just couldn't not go (Bert had other motives for going, which those who know him in real life will instantly recognize). The three of us howled through most of the movie, it was so bad--but the good news is that Starlet Star gets a lot of screen time and does the most that can be done with a poorly written part. And I hope this portends good things for her. She's smart, she's talented, and she obviously took some career hits in favor of finishing her degree (in English, no less!). Someone with her substance and her skills deserves to do well, even in the superficial world of Hollywood. Say it with me: more Starlet Star! link \| posted by La Lecturess at 2:11 PM \| 10 Comments: Anonymous commented at 3:17 PM~ I wanna know who it is! RageyOne commented at 3:27 PM~ Me too! I'm curious to know who was in such a bad movie that you want more of her. Hmmm...the mysterious Starlet Star.... luckybuzz commented at 3:40 PM~ I want to know too--though I kind of like just saying "more Starlet Star!" and having no idea who I mean. Ianqui commented at 3:58 PM~ I once taught the son of a very famous comedian...Although he himself wasn't famous, and I didn't even know who's son he was until after the class was over. Nothing like having a famous actress in my class--did people hang out around the classroom before and after just to see her? Or is it totally run of the mill for the students? La Lecturess commented at 4:52 PM~ Well, she definitely wasn't famous enough that the paparazzi would ever have been hovering about, or anything, but I'm pretty sure that everyone in those two classes knew who she was. However, there are enough minor celebs at INRU that students tend to ignore their stardom and treat them like normal people. When I was an undergrad, there were at least four pretty well-know former child or teen stars at INRU, and although that info was good grist for gossip when one of them threw up at a frat party or something, that was about the extent of anyone's caring. And I should say that during the time that I was teaching Starlet Star, her REAL claim to fame was probably that she was dating a mega-famous professional athlete. Badger commented at 4:59 PM~ i know who it is! i know who it is! (well, I've got a good idea, anyway.) Anonymous commented at 5:51 PM~ I'm glad that Starlet Star was good in the role, although I'm sorry that the movie sucked as much as I was sure it was going to. Anonymous commented at 9:41 AM~ ohmygod it's driving me crazy! who is it?!?! i read enough lameass gossip mags that this should be easy... La Lecturess commented at 10:33 AM~ Sorry, peeps (except Badger)--giving that info would compromise me a little more than I'm willing to do publicly. And anyway: you yourself might well say, "Who the hell is THAT?" I'm sure that I would, but I'm clueless that way Anonymous commented at 7:41 PM~ yeah, that movie did look pretty suck-y.... But the actress herself is pretty cool, and I definitely agree that the one other movie you reference would have been better with more of her and less of most of the other characters. -scr Want to Post a Comment? back to main page
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